I just was thinking through something that I felt I should update because it is important...to me.

In Kavannah's last days with us there were several things that happened that were either perplexing or comforting...or both.

(Jan 29) A week before we found out Kavy was gone, we were in to see her with Dr. c J. We saw her breathing and everything else looked like her 'normal'. The breathing was very reassuring to me. After all my non stress tests with Asher, Jim teases me that I am sometimes better at catching things than the pros (not really..but pretty good for a lay person). (2/2)Then on Tues. we had a fetal ECHO at Childrens, with dr. Fromelt. We were able to meet on an impromptu meeting with Fetal Concerns and Dr. Leutner, a neonatologist. We had some hard but very compassionate conversations on that day.

Wednesday (2/3) we were recovering together from all our previous day's activity. Kavannah was quiet but in the past it usually took the better part of a day for her to bounce back after an active previous day. Thursday (2/4) Kav's quietness is now concerning me. I talk with dr. c J and she recommends that we go in immediately. Dr. C takes a peek by ultra sound and we all know immediately that she is gone. Dr. C says that she thinks her passing could have been Tuesday night.

In my mind, the why's and the processing starts. How could I not have known when she left me?

The entire point of this post is that upon review of photos by two of the perinatologists, they both (independent of one another) agree that she did indeed pass on Thursday morning. I feel the goodness of God in allowing me into that detail.

We can trust the Lord in our details. Profound reminder for me today.