Today is one month...both in number and in day (Thursday, Feb. 4 to Thursday, March 4) since Kavannah passed on to be with the Lord.
In many ways it still takes my breath away. I spent the day at home doing laundry and pondering. I pondered what Kavannah's life is like today. What would it be like to not have to struggle with pride (because all I can think about is that this in not how "I" would have chosen to do it)? Or trying to 'formulate' God into an equation? Or have ANY of the effects of our separation from God (sin in any form)? And to have no tears or sorrow but only to understand our purpose and completion in giving glory to the Lord. It reminds me of the hymn "Oh, what fellowship!!" Indeed, what a day that will be!
I have been convicted that I do not like the words "chastening", "endurance", "suffering", or "sorrow". How much of my prayer life is spent trying to avoid these tools that the Lord uses for our refinement to bring us into healthy & holy individuals? So, today I give up. I pray that I would stop being the older brother in the 'prodigal son' story. How many times has that deterred me from seeing the Father for who He is: loving, kind, desiring all good gifts for his children who he not only loves & cherishes but is willing to lay down all of his reputation for...
Our daughter's message of Kavannah is still ringing in my ears and in my heart today. We have been blessed as a family to have had so many people acknowledge our daughter's life and our sorrow as we grieve our loss...and her eternal gain. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you.
2 comments:
Oh what comfort to know that our sweet children do not have to "put up" with this world. How I envy Adam some days. And most times I now can really say, with my heart, that I am so grateful that he does not have to see what this world has become...being the anti-liberal, ultra conservative that he was! It would break his heart to hear and see what is now the "norm". Instead I know he is so happy being with the Lord he loves so much. You are right on Maegan, no more pain, no sadness, no sickness, just pure joy. I can't wait to meet Kavannah in person and to introduce you to Adam.
With love,
Linda
Maegan, I am so amazed, blessed, and proud of you! I love you deeply!
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