Feb. 21

I have had a few requests to keep posted. This is such a journey that I never wanted to have my ticket validated for or punched for laps of use. However, I have found that there are a few things that keep me going. Mostly, Mara and Asher. I am not sure if I am doing it well but they deserve parents that are present.

Maybe the best way to tell you how I am doing is to let you know what is playing.
Steven Curtis Chapman, Album Beauty Will Rise (just the jacket is worth it for the heavy lifting of grief)
Kutlass, Album It is Well (great version if you like the words but your life is sort of electric guitar vs. pretty harps)
Sara Groves, Album Fireflies and Songs
Marc Schultz, Album Come Alive
Selah, Album You Deliver Me

And my side table reading is:
The Promise of Heaven by Randy Alcorn
When Life Comes Undone by TJ Addington
my journal
my bible
The Shaming of the Strong by Sarah Williams
The Valley of Vision, Puritan prayers and devotions
Heaven by Joni Erickson Tada
and a kid's book called SkippyJonJones...if you need to smile this one works with a two year old in your lap (you can come over and borrow the book or the book and the boy any time ;)

Know that I appreciate your prayers and the check ups. I feel like the lights are dimly on but the check engine light is not on. That's good, right?

I know that heaven is real and that my longing to be there grows daily. I now understand a few of my salty friends better. These are women who have buried children and parents and friends and husbands...and....and, they can stand on this side and still breath...but they talk about heavenly things with a fondness that makes sense to me now. This is 'first person present'.

OK. off to bed...here's to sleeping...cheers.