Today was 'meet with the funeral home & then select flowers day'. For those who have been through this, you know what that means. I personally have never been on this side of that conversation with a loved one. I have a new empathy for those who have done this with their parents, a spouse, sibling, and especially a child.
I am so thankful that my kindred, Ellisa Jean, was with us today. She helps me with the secret decoder ring that I need some time to communicate with the outside world. What became perfectly clear to me today as we (Jim, Ellisa, Funeral Director and me) were wrestling with arrangements was that my deepest desire is to communicate how much Kavannah mattered to us on this earth...and now in Heaven waiting (ok, I highly doubt she is just sitting there 'waiting'...she is on to more fun things). I realize that the only space that she had taken up on this side of heaven has been in my womb. And, how do we communicate that she loved chocolate shakes, the sound of her papa's voice, and her sister's voice and that she pounded back on Asher as they were both trying to "share" my lap (siblings!), just one more time to show off in an ultrasound... and bedrest with her mom...just to name a few things.
But tonight I finally had a chance to check my messages and email. My inboxes were full. Her message got out. And some how I am overwhelmed that the Lord has created her and acknowledged her in so many ways. Thank you to each of you who have left a message either on the web or on phone. Your tenderness to our lives literally brings me to tears.
Thanks for acknowledging that Kavannah matters. Remember the meaning of her name. The name that the Lord gave to both of us before she was created. We each held the name to ourselves because we are both "infertile". When we found out we had miraculously conceived, we each secretly already knew her name. It was a fun day to reveal to each other what her name should be! Review her name & definition and ask yourself today if you are living out Kavannah.
~pray, study, love, live...
maegan
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3 comments:
Dear ones,
We ache with you all. Our prayer is that as Kavannah is now in the presence of God, that you too would stand in His presence and talk with our Father in the months ahead with sincerity, honesty and purity. You truly have an experiential grasp of what it means to have your hearts directed toward Heaven. We are so sad with you.
Dear Megan, Jim, and family- Our hearts ache for you in the homegoing of Kavannah. Such a beautiful life. Thanks for sharing your photos, letting us in on your sacred moments with this precious daughter. You are in our prayers. With love in Jesus, Ann and Henry Voth
Megs,
My heart is with you as you are making preparations..I can't wait to be with you in person. We continue to pray and love you so much!
Missy
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